I have asked for transformation in my life; when I say transformation I mean head to toe, inside out remodel! Why? Well, because I want to activate at my highest possible level. I want, and have reuqested divine transformation. I use a spray daily call Volcano Juice that uses the rocks of the earth to activate the energy in my body to shift. I get body work done on a regular basis, i eat raw food mostly, I ready and meditate and practice yoga. I do this all to work out the effects of 25 years of bad habits both physical and mental. I have gotten somewhat used to discomfort in ths process; somedays I feel out of my mind and others I see major breakthroughs in old patterns. For days, weeks, or months at a time my body can hurt and has; always with the outcome of breakthroughs though!
But tonight is something brand new and like nothing I have ever felt.
On Sunday I had an experience in yoga that caused the break up of some serious scar tissue in the right side neck. However, because this happened I woke up Monday morning with a rather large knot in the left side of my neck that caused some major discomfort. At first it was all in the neck, and then it hit the right side of my back and then my left knee. I was all locked up and tight in these areas, so after having a massage and still feeling rather tight I decided to go see a dear friend that is a physical therapist.
She began to work on my back getting rather deep into my fascia to loosen it up. There was instany improval, it was truly incredible to feel. My range of motion got better and I was learning a better way to stand and get my body back in alignment. Thsat night I went to work, waittressing, which I definitely felt by the end of the night. When I went to bed I could feel some discomfort setting into my shoulder, but it was just enough that I could not lay on that side.
By the middle of the night 2am or 3am I could barely stand the pain that was in the body. It spread through out my entire body and deep down into the deepest parts of the muscles. A burning pain, and somehow I managed to get back to sleep for an hour or so before I woke up again. Unable to lay on either side, or any side for that matter I ended up sitting up in a ball. Nothing helped. it was staying with me. I began to cry and cry because there was nowhere for it to go. My body felt like it was trying to relax and my habits felt like they were holding it back.
By habits, I mean the physcal tension I have held in my body for so much of my life. The tightness that I had become familiar with was at war with this new found space that was in my body. I was up for 2 hours before the pain began to get tolerable, before I could go back to bed and fal asleep. In these 2 hours I really began to analyze the situation.
This feeling was my body trying to become its best self yet, and these habits were trying there very hardest to keep that from happening. It was a full on war between Light and dark. There was no winner and probably never will be one. They both exist inside all of us and it is the one we give the attention too that will have more power.
Last night I was given the blessing to see thedarkest aspects of my physical form trying to hold back my highest self. Physical always translates energetic and vise versa. All the patterns we create in our life will once be drawn out into the light, it is all about what you make of it. I wanted death last night and with the rising of the sun came the rising of hope and thoughts that I am breaking through into this transformatiom that I have been asking for.
Check in with yourself often, see what habits you are holding on too, and are you ready to give attention to your healthier habits so that you too can transform into that beaming light that is unstoppable in what it does and becomes?!
With much love!
